I don't know what to do with little man right now. It feels like I am failing as a mother. There is something going on in his head and I just don't know what to do with it. So far it has been ADHD and the possibility of Turrets. These are things that I know aren't my fault it is a chemical and possible heredity. But now something is showing its head more and more and even to the point where the teacher had commented to me. Twice today at school had commented that he did not like himself, as well as she had said an other student had come to her saying that he had been saying that he found some glass and was going to poke his eyes out. Every time someone asks him why he says these things he said he didn't know. Is this true or is it because he does not want to say. This isn't the first time that he has said he didn't like himself, no one likes him and that he wants to hurt himself. Threatening to go and get a knife to cut himself. As well as showing anger over something but we can never get him to tell us what. You have no idea how cold that makes my blood run.
He says this when he is up set or does not want to do something. How much of it is manipulation and how much of it is something actually going through his mind. Last year he was showing signs of depression is this part of it? We thought with the medication it had cleared up.
Have I done something wrong? The wanting to hurt himself scares me. I have spent many years fighting the self mutalation aspect of my life and before anyone says anything when I had hurt myself I never did it in front of him or anyone else.
Am I failing him as a mother? Am I doing something wrong? I know a lot of my issues stem from my relationship with my family. Is it the same thing with him? Am I not doing something?
I just want him to be happy and healthy....